"Alien can blend right on in wit' yo' kin, look again cause I swear I spot one every now and then" - Andre 3000
Life is a bunch of bullshit. While living through this bullshit, which smells alot worse than it did a couple of years ago, I've realized that no one is perfect. No shit right? But it gets deeper than that because we tend to overlook the flaws of those close to us. Like our bestfriends, we'd swear up and down that they were perfect. Take a step back and really get a good look at them. No picture is perfect...right?
Nothing in my life has really turned out the way I want it. I plan and think I know the outcome and boom shit hits me and I end up disappointed. With that type of shit happening it kind of makes me want to stop dreaming. To stop taking time out of my day to sit and just daydream about the months to come. Planning shit out when I know I really don't have any control over it. Thinking I'm going to do this or get that when deep down inside I know I'll never grasp that shit.
Pictures just don't come out of a camera. I can picture myself being 21 living in Atlanta in a nice two bedroom apartment. Fresh out of college...nice car...nice job. Straight doing me. Or I can picture myself being lowered into my grave and all my loved ones gathered around dressed in black crying. But even then those imaginary pictures aren't perfect.
I guess what I'm trying to say is nothing is perfect...but I could of just said that all along and didn't have to write all this shit. Perfection is something you can strive for in whatever you want. Your dreams, career, relationships...anything. But everything has its flaws. That apple of your eye just might be rotten and that bestfriend you've always wanted just might not be a friend at all. That picture you've painted so vividly with your imagination will have its errors here and there...shit you really can't control. Your life isn't going to go the way you planned it. Its alright though, because I mean shit...what really is perfection anyway? When you find something thats truly perfect...let me know.
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Monday, February 18, 2008
Growing Pains/ The Last Hoorah
"Waitin' paitently I ask myself, where I wanna go, where I wanna be, life is much more than runnin' in the streets" ~ Consequence, off of Kanye's "Spaceship"
So I think I've reached a point in my life, where I need to start to decide want I want to do with the rest of it. As much as I'd love to revert back to being 10 and not having to deal with any bullshit, I have to grow up sometime.
There is just one problem. I have no idea where I want to go. I'm not even completely sure if I know myself well enough at this point. Which leaves me with quite a dilemma.
With all my pondering, I have come to one conclusion....I don't want to grow up. You know when your 9 and you just want to be older? Yeah, I'm at the point where shit hits the fan. Not to say I'm old, not by any means, but I think I've been slapped with the realization that I'm only a few years away from having to enter the real world.
I'm not ready.
And....well now onto part two of this blog. There are a few other things I feel the need to address.
The Last Hoorah. The Final Stand. The End of the Road.
Whatever you want to call it, I think this blog may have reached it.
With this being the first blog from me in probably a month, and the first blog period in about 3 weeks, this seems to be dying off.
Not that anyone actually reads this to care. Lets be real, no one actually reads this shit, besides my partner in crime.
Granted, this blog was never really about becoming a "famous" (as famous as you can hope to be off the internet) writer, or attracting fans, or anything. It was just a way for both of us to express our opinions and thoughts, a really cheap (free) form of therapy if you will.
But it seems that now, sadly, this ride has reached it's final destination. Hey, maybe I'm wrong, maybe I'll end up writing again, but who knows. If anyone actually reads this blog, drop a comment and let me know you're gonna miss it.
If not, more realistically, peace to everyone who (doesn't) read this.
"Sometimes we try to fly with our wings tattered, sometimes we don't think to try cuz we don't know any better, So I've gathered myself just to prove, to me, I am not afraid anymore, of whats around the corner" ~ Tonedeff
One Love,
Blue
So I think I've reached a point in my life, where I need to start to decide want I want to do with the rest of it. As much as I'd love to revert back to being 10 and not having to deal with any bullshit, I have to grow up sometime.
There is just one problem. I have no idea where I want to go. I'm not even completely sure if I know myself well enough at this point. Which leaves me with quite a dilemma.
With all my pondering, I have come to one conclusion....I don't want to grow up. You know when your 9 and you just want to be older? Yeah, I'm at the point where shit hits the fan. Not to say I'm old, not by any means, but I think I've been slapped with the realization that I'm only a few years away from having to enter the real world.
I'm not ready.
And....well now onto part two of this blog. There are a few other things I feel the need to address.
The Last Hoorah. The Final Stand. The End of the Road.
Whatever you want to call it, I think this blog may have reached it.
With this being the first blog from me in probably a month, and the first blog period in about 3 weeks, this seems to be dying off.
Not that anyone actually reads this to care. Lets be real, no one actually reads this shit, besides my partner in crime.
Granted, this blog was never really about becoming a "famous" (as famous as you can hope to be off the internet) writer, or attracting fans, or anything. It was just a way for both of us to express our opinions and thoughts, a really cheap (free) form of therapy if you will.
But it seems that now, sadly, this ride has reached it's final destination. Hey, maybe I'm wrong, maybe I'll end up writing again, but who knows. If anyone actually reads this blog, drop a comment and let me know you're gonna miss it.
If not, more realistically, peace to everyone who (doesn't) read this.
"Sometimes we try to fly with our wings tattered, sometimes we don't think to try cuz we don't know any better, So I've gathered myself just to prove, to me, I am not afraid anymore, of whats around the corner" ~ Tonedeff
One Love,
Blue
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Keep up.
"It ain't what you cop, its about what you keep" - L Boogie
Just like its not about where you from doggie, its about where you pay the rent at. In life sometimes the big picture isn't always the most important one. Doesn't matter what you have...its all about if you can keep it. Somethings you can't keep forever, but as long as you have the memories then they are yours forever. Learn that.
I've always been a materialistic person. The money and the clothes seem to matter the most to me. In the end I can't keep either forever. Even with knowing that for some reason I still depend on it. I guess I'm brainwashed...or I guess I really just don't care.
You can't cop life, love...death, or anything of that nature. So I guess its about how long you can keep it. Holding on to things is always whats up. Yeah you might have the better looking car...until someone steals it. Real Talk.
Just like its not about where you from doggie, its about where you pay the rent at. In life sometimes the big picture isn't always the most important one. Doesn't matter what you have...its all about if you can keep it. Somethings you can't keep forever, but as long as you have the memories then they are yours forever. Learn that.
I've always been a materialistic person. The money and the clothes seem to matter the most to me. In the end I can't keep either forever. Even with knowing that for some reason I still depend on it. I guess I'm brainwashed...or I guess I really just don't care.
You can't cop life, love...death, or anything of that nature. So I guess its about how long you can keep it. Holding on to things is always whats up. Yeah you might have the better looking car...until someone steals it. Real Talk.
Sunday, January 20, 2008
This is a Dedication...
"My life is full of empty promises and broken dreams, I'm hopin things look up but there's no job openings..." ~ Eminem
Life can be described in many ways, but right now I would have to say the most appropriate word is frustrating.
I never try to hate on anyone for stupid shit, like you homotional e-thugs always do (word at threatening dudes over the internet), but sometimes there are moments when you need to replenish your body with alittle haterade.
What I'm getting at is people who know nothing of struggling. Nothing of being broke, nothing of having any sort of hardships. Listen, losing your cell phone for 2 weeks cuz you got a C on your report card isn't a big deal. Shut the fuck up, no one cares, and your not struggling because you can't get that new xbox game until your parents get a paycheck next week.
If you work for what you have, I have no problem with you. It's the people who have everything yet still complain who need robbed. Take a walk in someone elses shoes where you can't go and buy what ever you want whenever you want, or hell, even buy something you need when you need it. If you've been through the bullshit then you know how stressful life can be.
And seeing everyone else walking around, blowing money like it's nothing, and not being able to do anything you want because you have none....it's one word. Frustrating.
Maybe I'm just on that haterade. All I really know is that I'm frustrated.
"This (blog) is dedicated to all the happy people, who have real nice lives, and don't know what it's like to be broke as fuck" ~ Eminem
Peace,
Blue aka 1Breath
Life can be described in many ways, but right now I would have to say the most appropriate word is frustrating.
I never try to hate on anyone for stupid shit, like you homotional e-thugs always do (word at threatening dudes over the internet), but sometimes there are moments when you need to replenish your body with alittle haterade.
What I'm getting at is people who know nothing of struggling. Nothing of being broke, nothing of having any sort of hardships. Listen, losing your cell phone for 2 weeks cuz you got a C on your report card isn't a big deal. Shut the fuck up, no one cares, and your not struggling because you can't get that new xbox game until your parents get a paycheck next week.
If you work for what you have, I have no problem with you. It's the people who have everything yet still complain who need robbed. Take a walk in someone elses shoes where you can't go and buy what ever you want whenever you want, or hell, even buy something you need when you need it. If you've been through the bullshit then you know how stressful life can be.
And seeing everyone else walking around, blowing money like it's nothing, and not being able to do anything you want because you have none....it's one word. Frustrating.
Maybe I'm just on that haterade. All I really know is that I'm frustrated.
"This (blog) is dedicated to all the happy people, who have real nice lives, and don't know what it's like to be broke as fuck" ~ Eminem
Peace,
Blue aka 1Breath
Sunday, January 13, 2008
Thats like half my hand.
"My uncle said when you grow up some of your friends will be dead" - Black Spade
Childhood friends...I have a few. Not many...but enough to know as you grow up you change(thats obvious). What hit me though was that as you grow your friends change as well. Some change for the better...and others for the worse. Most are for worse...sad to say that most of my friends aren't doing much with their life. I've grown up enough and I guess in a way my friends are dead.
"A thug changes, and love changes and best friends become strangers, word up" - Nas
Word up. A thug changes. Love definitely changes. Friends become strangers...yeah. I have more than a few friends that have become strangers. Niggas act like they don't even know ya' boy anymore, but its all good. I don't adapt well to change but change happens. Whether its friends, love, or your own personal change. I've never tried to stop it...because you really can't.
I've watched some of my people go from good kids to drug dealers. Dudes changed so much every time I'm with them something pops off. I guess it hurts me in a way to see my niggas that I'm down for get trapped in the system. I don't really blame the change of growing up for this. I'd rather blame the streets. The hood made my niggas like this...and made me the way I am today.
I'm only 16 so I got some more growing to do. But if your 16 and you can say your friends have died in any type of way thats not whats up. I guess my uncle was right. For my people that have become strangers I still know you...you just don't know me.
Childhood friends...I have a few. Not many...but enough to know as you grow up you change(thats obvious). What hit me though was that as you grow your friends change as well. Some change for the better...and others for the worse. Most are for worse...sad to say that most of my friends aren't doing much with their life. I've grown up enough and I guess in a way my friends are dead.
"A thug changes, and love changes and best friends become strangers, word up" - Nas
Word up. A thug changes. Love definitely changes. Friends become strangers...yeah. I have more than a few friends that have become strangers. Niggas act like they don't even know ya' boy anymore, but its all good. I don't adapt well to change but change happens. Whether its friends, love, or your own personal change. I've never tried to stop it...because you really can't.
I've watched some of my people go from good kids to drug dealers. Dudes changed so much every time I'm with them something pops off. I guess it hurts me in a way to see my niggas that I'm down for get trapped in the system. I don't really blame the change of growing up for this. I'd rather blame the streets. The hood made my niggas like this...and made me the way I am today.
I'm only 16 so I got some more growing to do. But if your 16 and you can say your friends have died in any type of way thats not whats up. I guess my uncle was right. For my people that have become strangers I still know you...you just don't know me.
Sunday, January 6, 2008
For The Love.
"For the Love is a hard reason to keep my life in suspension" - Deacon
For the love...theres alot of things I love. Some have their positive and negative effects. Some might help me while others break me down. Some might do both at the same time. Its all for the love though, right?
Does love pay the bills though? Kiss was right the money will never equal to the love, but at some point your going to need the money. Then at some point your going to look back at the love you recieved. Its all about the love you give though. Having the love, recieving the love, and giving the love are all different. Love is a hard reason to keep my life in suspension...but maybe its worth it.
For the love of Hip-Hop I know I might never sell a record and have to rely on tour sales. I know I might sign to a record label that might put me into modern day slavery. I know that I might never get the chance to record a single record. Thats the suspension. Why I still love it? I can't even tell you why...all I can say is I do it for the love.
'For the Love' might seem dumb to many, but we all have something or someone we love. It might be bittersweet love or it might be the love of your life. Don't look at it as keeping your life in suspension for the sacrifices you may have to make. Look at it as getting one step closer to your love. Cause in the end...nigga its all for the love.
For the love...theres alot of things I love. Some have their positive and negative effects. Some might help me while others break me down. Some might do both at the same time. Its all for the love though, right?
Does love pay the bills though? Kiss was right the money will never equal to the love, but at some point your going to need the money. Then at some point your going to look back at the love you recieved. Its all about the love you give though. Having the love, recieving the love, and giving the love are all different. Love is a hard reason to keep my life in suspension...but maybe its worth it.
For the love of Hip-Hop I know I might never sell a record and have to rely on tour sales. I know I might sign to a record label that might put me into modern day slavery. I know that I might never get the chance to record a single record. Thats the suspension. Why I still love it? I can't even tell you why...all I can say is I do it for the love.
'For the Love' might seem dumb to many, but we all have something or someone we love. It might be bittersweet love or it might be the love of your life. Don't look at it as keeping your life in suspension for the sacrifices you may have to make. Look at it as getting one step closer to your love. Cause in the end...nigga its all for the love.
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
Sunshine to the Rain
"Sunshine to the rain, when it comes it goes again, even when the story ain't, just turn the page and begin again" ~ Anthony Hamilton (on Miri Ben Ari's song "Sunshine to the Rain" which also features Scarface)
This blog comes from some thinking on New Years Eve (which sucked but I'm not going to explain).
Reflecting on this past year I've seen a few different things. I've seen some shitty ass experiences, and some good ones. But through all of it I've gained one thing. Growth.
I think I've grown alot this year, maturity wise, intellectually, mentality, everything. And I guess '08 is the year where I want to focus.
I wanna stop being "the invisible man" (that will be another blog) and start putting in work. 2008 is gonna be the year of the grind for me. On the writing tip, on the rapping tip, on the social tip, everything. I want to stop holding my self back from everything.
So basically, my new years resolution is to actually achieve some of my goals this year. I've had certain goals for awhile but have never really done anything about them. And I feel like now is the time, or else I never will. Turn the rain to sunshine.
"I got my ear to the street, my head to the sky, n***** gonna hate and I don't understand why, I'm just tryin to get money, and have the whole world remember me, so touch mine and become a memory" ~ Wiz Khalifa
Peace,
Blue
This blog comes from some thinking on New Years Eve (which sucked but I'm not going to explain).
Reflecting on this past year I've seen a few different things. I've seen some shitty ass experiences, and some good ones. But through all of it I've gained one thing. Growth.
I think I've grown alot this year, maturity wise, intellectually, mentality, everything. And I guess '08 is the year where I want to focus.
I wanna stop being "the invisible man" (that will be another blog) and start putting in work. 2008 is gonna be the year of the grind for me. On the writing tip, on the rapping tip, on the social tip, everything. I want to stop holding my self back from everything.
So basically, my new years resolution is to actually achieve some of my goals this year. I've had certain goals for awhile but have never really done anything about them. And I feel like now is the time, or else I never will. Turn the rain to sunshine.
"I got my ear to the street, my head to the sky, n***** gonna hate and I don't understand why, I'm just tryin to get money, and have the whole world remember me, so touch mine and become a memory" ~ Wiz Khalifa
Peace,
Blue
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